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  “O’Shea, your mama is here!” Tammy called out. I got dressed then headed down stairs.

  “Fucking home-wrecker!” my mama said to Tammy as I headed out the door.

  “Let’s get something straight, Jamille! I didn’t know shit about you when I started fucking around with that lil’ dick nigga! He told me that he and his son’s mother wasn’t together! When I found out, I cut his ass off! So, you can think I’m still fucking your man but truth is I’m not! I only deal with him on the strength of O’Shea! He and my son have a real close friendship! So, maybe, you can take that stick out of your ass. Check your man because if he is creeping, it’s not with me!” Tammy said.

  I didn’t know Tammy and my dad wasn’t together anymore. I always wondered why he would just drop me and sometimes didn’t even come in to speak.

  I got inside of my mother’s car just as Takera walked by with her shorts all up in her ass. My mother frowned her nose up.

  “These little hoes have more body than I do and I’m a grown-ass woman! You are not coming over here any fucking more! These little bitches are baby-ready and you not making me a grandmother this damn young! Your ass going to be just like your damn daddy! Fucking anything that walks. I can see that shit in you! You go to one of the best schools and you live in a decent neighborhood. Why the fuck are you always wanting to come over here? Ain’t nothing good over here! Look at them fucking crack-heads!” she fussed pointing at Geraldine sitting in the basket in front of Harry’s bike as he rode down the street.

  What I like about Britain’s mom is that she was real. She was who she was. My mother pretended to be someone she was not and sometimes, I could see why my pops cheated. She talked just like one of those chicks around here. When she got around her white friends or prissy friends, she changed.

  “Kenjay can come over! But you are not coming back over to this filth! Look at these hot-ass girls over here!” she said disgusted. I already knew Kenjay wasn’t coming to my house because he didn’t like Yager.

  “Alright, ma, dang!”

  “You fighting your father huh?” she asked.

  “He shouldn’t have put his hands on me!” I said.

  “He is your father, O’Shea! He has every right to discipline you!” she said.

  “Well, when he acts like a father then I will act like his son!” I told her and she shook her head.

  “Did you at least get him good?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I did!” I answered and she laughed.

  On our way home, I stared out of the window. I forgot to tell Britain goodbye because I knew my mom was good on her word anytime she told me Kenjay could come to visit. If only Britain had a phone.

  “Oh, and I’m taking your cell-phone for a few weeks! You are punished. You still had no business putting your hands on your father!” she said.

  Janae

  “Where are you going?” Carla asked me.

  “I’m going over Britain’s house!” I told her, brushing my hair.

  “I can’t stand her! She acts like she is better than us!” Carla said.

  “Leave her alone, Carla! You don’t even know her!” I told her.

  “I see her around and she does! You see her ugly-ass mama?” Carla asked. I ignored her and she left. Carla always said mean things about Britain and her mom and I couldn’t stand it.

  I walked into the kitchen to pour some juice and my mama was asleep on the couch. She still acted like nothing happened about that man raping me. Since that night, he has been coming over once or twice a week, leaving money on my nightstand. She got home this morning and just crashed on the couch. I didn’t say anything to her as I headed out.

  Kenjay was sitting on the steps eating cereal and I waved at him. He gave me the head-nod and I kept walking. I think Kenjay liked me too because he was always staring at me.

  I got to Britain’s house and knocked on the door. Geraldine opened the door with a robe on and some black, holey socks. She still had sleep in her eyes. She puffed her cigarette as she grilled me and, like always, her edges were gelled down. Her ponytail was brushed to the side and it was very small. Pieces of hair were falling out of it.

  “What the fuck do you want? Its 2 p.m. in the afternoon!” she said blowing smoke into my face.

  “I came to see Britain,” I told her.

  “Chile, you sure you not on that stuff?” she asked, whispering.

  “Mama, stop!” Britain said coming down the stairs. I let out a sigh of relief.

  I walked in, “You made me bleed!” Tookie squawks.

  “Brownie, what the fuck is that bird talking about?” Geraldine asked.

  “I don’t know, mama! She probably got it from some movie!” Britain said.

  “Owww, it hurts!” Tookie said again. That is one weird-ass bird.

  “Shut the fuck up, Tookie!” Geraldine said walking up the steps.

  We walked outside to sit on the porch and Britain didn’t seem to be in her happy mood.

  “What’s the matter, Brit?” I asked.

  “I had sex,” she said sadly.

  “What? When? Where? Who?” I questioned.

  “Here of course! You know my mama never is home like that! But anyways, it was a week ago with O’Shea. You know, since you haven’t been coming around like that, me and him been hanging out. I asked Tammy when he is coming back and she told me that his mother doesn’t want him in this neighborhood. I have no phone to get in contact with him. Tammy said that his mom took his cell-phone from him because he hit his father,” she told me.

  “O’Shea hit Yager?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Yes, I seen it all. Yager slammed O’Shea then O’Shea hit his father in the face. Afterwards, Kenjay jumped in it along with Tammy,” she laughed.

  “I heard he got jumped by some older niggas!” I said.

  “You know everyone is scared of Yager so they lying for him,” she said.

  “How was it?” I asked curiously. I wanted to know if it hurt as much as it hurt me when my virginity was taken.

  “It hurt and I bled afterwards. He said he popped my cherry because he made me bleed,” she said.

  “Is it big?” I asked.

  “Yes, and when it’s hard, it looks funny! I mean, the veins are ugly that’s in it!” she said and I laughed. Takera and Manessa walked down the street and Takera stopped in front of Britain’s fence.

  “So, Britain, you are a hoe after all! I saw O’Shea leaving out of your house all late! Manessa should whip your ass for talking to him,” Takera fussed.

  Britain stood up and dusted her butt off. I looked at Britain’s butt and it was big and so were her boobs. I wished I had a butt and some boobs. All the girls around here had meat on their bones and I was just skin and bones.

  “Takera, keep on and I’m coming down there and whipping your ass! Now, try me hoe and see what I do to you! I’m sick of your mouth! You must got shoes on your chin because all you do is run your mouth,” Britain fussed.

  “Manessa, are you mad at me?” Britain asked her. Manessa was actually a cool chick.

  “Naw, I’m not! I keep telling Takera that I don’t care about that!” she said.

  “See, Takera, so get the fuck away from my house!” Britain shouted.

  “Fuck your fat ass and your nappy-headed, ring-worm having ass crack-head mama!” Takera said. Britain charged down the steps and pulled Takera’s hair over the fence and pounded her head.

  “Beat her ass, Britain! That’s right, baby! Let her ass know she can’t fuck with you!” Geraldine said. She was standing on the porch with booty shorts and a half shirt on. You could tell that she had a shape before she got on drugs.

  Takera swung back, hitting Britain in the eye, “Oh, hell naw!” Geraldine jumped down the steps and clocked Takera upside her head.

  The man I had sex with rode down the street and looked at me grinning. He blew a kiss at me and my body froze. I was still scared to tell someone what he did to me. I forgot all about the fight until his car got
to the end of the street. I got up and pulled Britain away from Takera. Geraldine was standing by them coaching Britain on beating Takera up.

  “Stop it, Britain! You already whipped her ass!” I said.

  Takera had scratches, bruises, and a busted lip. Britain really beat her ass. I bet Takera would leave her alone now.

  “I’m not fucking with you anymore, Takera! All you do is fuck with people and now look at you!” Manessa said walking off.

  “You did good, Brownie!” Geraldine said, smoothing her hair out.

  “She was talking about my mama!” Britain said. Britain loved her mama!

  I spent almost all day kicking it with Geraldine and Britain on the steps listening to the radio. It was getting dark, so I headed home. I was walking down the street when a car crept alongside of me.

  “Where you going at, lil’ ma?” the strange man asked me.

  “I’m going home!” I snapped.

  “Why you acting like this? You don’t miss me?” he asked.

  “Why don’t you leave me alone!” I cried. Bad enough he was having sex with me anytime he wanted and now he was harassing me.

  “Because you don’t want me to! I bought you something! Get in the car, Janae! You don’t want to make me mad, do you?” he asked.

  I looked up and down the street to see if anyone was looking at me getting into his car. As soon as I opened the door, the strong smell of marijuana hit me. He passed it to me but I smacked his hand away.

  “That’s why I like you! You are a feisty little thing!” he grinned.

  “Where are we going?” I asked him as he cut through some houses and we end up behind an abandoned house. He cut the engine off then reclined his seat as he unbuckled his pants and pulled his dick out.

  “You remember what I taught you! Now get to it!” he said. I leaned down and put his dick into my mouth and relaxed my throat as he pushed my head down on it. I jerked him off while I sucked him off, making my mouth extra wet.

  “That’s it right there! Suck that shit just like how I taught you!” he said as my spit ran down his dick. I sucked and slurped and like always, he came after three minutes. Once I was done, I wiped my mouth off. He reached for the bag in the back seat and it was from Tiffany’s.

  “Well, aren’t you going to look at it?” he asked. I pulled the long box out of the bag and opened it up. It was a gold, diamond tennis bracelet. In some weird, crazy way I felt special because my own mama had never bought me anything nice.

  “Quit that little job, too! I’m going to take care of you! As long as you act right, you don’t got shit to worry about,” he said. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

  Britain

  “Have you talked to him?” I asked Kenjay for the hundredth time. I hadn’t seen O’Shea in three months now. His phone was still off according to Kenjay. I didn’t even see his father like that anymore. It was almost like O’Shea disappeared.

  “Nope, I still haven’t talk to him. My mother even rode me by their house and no one was home,” Kenjay told me.

  “Okay, thanks!” I told him, walking off.

  “If I talk to him, I will tell him you was looking for him!” he called out.

  “Okay, thanks!” I walked into the house. As soon as I was ready to sit down I had an urge to throw-up. I ran into the bathroom emptying everything that was in my stomach. I had been throwing up all week. Maybe it was my nerves because I was worried about O’Shea.

  The next day, I was walking home from the bus stop. Usually I walked with Janae but she told me someone was picking her up.

  “Hey, Britain,” Rattle said running up behind me. Usually I would give him hell but today I wasn’t feeling too good.

  “What’s going on? You want to go to the arcade this weekend?” he asked.

  “No, I don’t, Rattle! Please stop asking me!”

  “It’s O’Shea, isn’t it? I ran into him at the mall yesterday!” he said getting my attention.

  “Okay and?” I asked.

  “He was with some pretty girl. I think he said her name is Elay. She is older than him, too,” Rattle bragged and my eyes got watery.

  “Leave me the fuck alone!” I said walking off. When I got to my house, I just cried. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. All I thought about was O’Shea.

  “What’s the matter, Brownie?” my mama asked me, coming down the stairs.

  “Nothing,” I sobbed.

  “It’s that hot-ass little boy that was coming over, isn’t it? I knew something was wrong with that little fucker! He ain’t shit just like his damn daddy!” she said. I had the urge to throw up, so I ran to the toilet.

  “You been doing a lot of that shit lately! Are you pregnant?” she asked, grilling me.

  “No!” I said.

  “Did y’all fuck, and I swear Britain, don’t you lie to me!”

  “Yes,” I put my head down.

  “Ohhhh, lawddddddd!” she said falling on the floor then she started rolling around.

  “I’m sorry, Mama!” I cried.

  “Myyyy babbbyyyy is having a baby! Jesus, please take me now! Forgive me for sucking on that glass dick. Forgive me for stealing the tip jar at the car wash. Don’t do this to my baby!” she cried.

  “I won’t talk about Britain’s retarded-ass daddy no more! I’m sorry, oh God, I’m sorry!” she said.

  “I need to get high! This too much shit for me to take!” she said getting up like she didn’t just pray to Jesus.

  “We only had sex once, mama!” I said.

  “That’s all it takes, Brownie! I should’ve known that lil’ sexy motherfucker was the damn devil! I should’ve known his grown-looking ass was fucking! His voice deeper than Harry’s and he almost taller than Harry. That grown-ass lil nigga done went and got my baby knocked up. I can’t take this shit! Ohhhh, Jesusssss!” she said falling onto the couch then rolling onto the floor.

  “Mama, stop it, please!” I said.

  “I’m a crack-head! I can barely take care of you! How are we supposed to take care of a baby, Britain?” she asked in tears.

  “I don’t know, mama! I can get a job!” I told her.

  “You are thirteen! What job are you getting? You still have to go to school! Look at me! I don’t want you to end up like me! I want better for you! If it wasn’t for my mama, we wouldn’t have all of this,” she said spreading her arms.

  “You know what? I’m going upstairs to get you a pregnant test!” she said stomping up the steps. I didn’t know you could get pregnant the first time you had sex. My mama stole pregnancy tests and sold them. She always had them but I never thought about it until now.

  She handed me the test then gave me instructions. After I peed on the stick, I waited. Five minutes later, she read it and fell out onto the floor. She was really over doing it, now. I just wanted to go in my room and snack on some brownies.

  “I was sucking and fucking at your age and even my hoe ass didn’t get knocked up! Where that lil’ nigga at, anyways? Is this why he haven’t been coming around?” she asked.

  “Mama, please, don’t tell anyone! I don’t want people to know! They already make fun of me now!” I said.

  “Okay, Brownie, let mama think! First, I need to get you some bigger tops. You already on the chubby side so they ain’t going to know! I have to find a way to get you home schooling and all of that. Now, I needs to dig in mama insurance money she left us,” she said. I didn’t know what type of crack-head she was because she never really touched that money. She would rather steal first. I don’t care what no one said about my mama but I loved her a lot.

  If only I could talk to O’Shea.

  O'Shea

  Three months later…

  My bitch-ass father had me straight on lock down! After my mother told me Kenjay could come and visit, my pops changed all of that. He was still in his feelings because Kenjay hit him. He even told me that if I go anywhere near Kenjay, he would have one of his goons shoot up Tammy’s house. I just spent my fifteenth birth
day alone because my mama was working and my father was up to no good. I started doing terrible in school—fuck school! I hadn’t seen my friends in six months now. I missed Britain the most, and the more I thought about them, the more I hated my pops.

  I couldn’t even dial Kenjay’s number because my pops got the bill and he could see who I called. I wanted to fuck him up for that. The madder I got, the nastier my rhymes got. I couldn’t wait to blow up. I already put some rapping videos on YouTube and was getting likes already. I couldn’t wait for my rapping career to pop off so I could leave this place and take Britain with me.

  Since he eased up off of me a little bit now, I was sneaking over there today. I was riding with Elay to her house. She and I had gotten close because she had a car. I was not old enough to drive, yet. I been hanging around her and her boogie-ass friends and their niggas. I had to fuck one of them niggas up at a party because he came at me wrong.